Real World Roundup: Charlie Sheen Becomes Linzlo's Sponsor

By The Betches

Remember when Britney Spears' little sister Jamie Lynn got knocked up at like, 16? Yeah that was fucking 5 years ago. You're old. Now the kid is 4 and a half and 21 year old Jamie Lynn is engaged to a 30 year old. I thought being a pop star meant you were raised out of trash city? Someone please alert the Spears children that getting engaged and married too young is a shitty message because apparently not even seeing your sister actually walk down the aisle with Kevin Federline will give you the memo. Read article>>

While her grandkids were skiing in the Alps, Queen Elizabetch was hospitalized this weekend. While her reps claim she had gastroenteritis, we're no stranger to the early hospitalization after a weekend of blacking out. Hang in there Liz, blackout Wednesday is only two days away. Read article>>

Charlie Sheen tells TMZ that he wants to save Lindsay Lohan. Right, Charlie, like the blind leading the blind. He's quoted as saying "I have a kinship with somebody [Lindsay] who clearly needs a mentor, whether she wants one or not. She can continue to hang out with her dress shredding club buddies, or turn to me for some advice from a guy who's been down the road as well as every other side trail on the journey." That's like your crackhead aunt telling you she has great taste and wants to take you shopping. No fucking thank you. Read article>>

Drake, obvi devastated that Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together has been coping the only way he knows how: by showering strippers with money. Apparently Drake brought a big cardboard box full of cash to a Charlotte strip club and then made it rain 50K. Sorry D, this just makes you look like a floser. Go get a real girlfriend. Read article>>





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