Real World Roundup: Even Olympians Don't Give a Shit About Olympics

By The Betches

Get excited betches. The show about our favorite betchy family, the Bluths has started it's highly anticipated fourth season today. Arrested Development sports some of the betchiest characters known to man. The whole plot revolves around multiple family members spending other peoples' money, calling each other fat, and thinking of intricate schemes to not do work. Stay tuned for Lucille Bluth as Betch of the Week when the show airs. Oh and just for good measure, I just blue myself. Read article >>

Turns out this will go down as the betchiest olympics of all time. The athletes have decided they're not into doing work by getting disqualified for doing shit like eating massive amounts of pot brownies, throwing games, and in the case of some nigerian track stars, literally just deciding to stop walking. Clearly there's a lot of buzz about our website in London as it seems everyone including, Phelps is all like, 'fuck it I'm getting cheese fries'. Is it just us or like shouldn't you get a head start if you've just eaten pot brownies? Seems like an unfair race if you don't. Read article >>

She’s such a nightmare. Her career’s over...and she looks like a fucking fairground stripper. She’s been so horrible to Gaga,” said Elton John about Madonna, semi-randomly. He also called Madge a cunt. Honestly, Elton chill the fuck out. We get that Gaga is your kid's godmother but that's no reason to lash out at poor Madonna just because she's fabulous. We thought it was super betchy of Mads to casually transition to Born this Way from Express Yourself at one of her concerts. She clearly is well versed in How to: Fight like a Betch. God Elton can't you suck? But really, he and Madonna should be cohorts, not enemies as they're both queens of pop and looped together in the category of 'people who are old as fuck but still relevant'. Clearly Elton J is just pissed off since he didn't get to wear a bustiere at the superbowl and sing his heart out. Bitter is not a good look for him. Read article >>

Get excited, poor people. Your favorite go-to restaurant is about to become a club in Central Florida. We wonder who will work the door at Club Applebees? WIll it feature celebrities such as the cast of Jersey Shore in addition to average Joe's like your white trash cousin Jim-Bob? We're sure it will be quite VIP with bottled of Cristal being popped among delicious jalapeno poppers. As if central Florida wasn't trashy enough, we're sure you'll be able to spot Casey Anthony there. Read article >>




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