October 9, 2012
Today in World News, we explore some overseas weird ass updates.
Apparently Lady Gaga visited famed Wikileaks leader Julian Assange at the Ecuadorian embassy this week. We kid you not, apparently the two posed for a photo and MIA tweeted that if she met up with them she'd bring cake. Gross. Do we smell a new couple about to take Hollywood by storm? Which member of this possible twosome would be weirder? We'd imagine the sex would be insane with way more hushed verbal action that "yeah baby" and "your body is so hot." Instead we imagine their pillow talk to be like "Hey Lady Gaga, guess what President Obama was saying to the minister of foreign affairs. You like that? Yeah you do." Read article>>
That bro who confessed to killing Natalee Holloway and then took it back had knocked up some girl in Peru who he apparently fucked during conjugal visits in prison. Attention! Father of the Year award is ready to be given out! Joran Van Der Sloot is in prison for killing a Peruvian girl and having a really creepy fucking name. Just in time for Taken 2, Van Der Sloot proves that the Dutch are not all rainbows, butterflies, and chocolate. Beware. Read article>>
Here's a picture of Justin Bieber playing beer pong anywhere from six to eighteen months ago while sporting a backpack. The Biebs is either in Canada or Georgia but at the end of the day this should be the worst thing Biebs has ever done? Remember when that woman accused him of knocking her up? Playing some high school beer pong is like doing voluntary community service compared to that shit. Whatever Justin, we hope you didn't fucking suck at it or you can def pair up with us at our next round. Read article>>
Jay-Z rode the subway to his final concert at Barclays in an attempt to prove he's not a betch. Apparently getting back to his roots, Jay-Z took his first public transportation ride in eighteen years while people rightfully freaked the fuck out that Jay-Z was in the subway. Solidifying his place as coolest man alive, he rode with the masses to his last of a series of neverending concerts in Brooklyn. Beyonce sadly did not make the R train subway trip with him. We imagine her response to his suggestion that they take the subway was, "Fuck no. Do I look fucking poor to you? The days of Destiny's Child are over asshole. I'll be in the back seat of that Bentley." Read article>>