Real World Roundup: I'm Mischa Barton and I'm Casually Disgusting

By The Betches

Extremely betchy writer for the New Yorker, Jonah Lehrer, self plagiarizes himself. Sadly, gets caught #36 not doing work. The only flaw Jonah had was not getting a nice girl to change the wording on his article which was ironically titled "Why smart people are stupid." Oh Jonah, didn't you know that Hong Song Kim would've done anything to reword this for you? Even a dumb betch can tell you it's not wise to copy your own articles from the Wall Street fucking Journal. Ever heard of it?  The problem isn't that Jonah cheated. It's that he got caught. Some annoying betch hating nice guy had to go through all his writing to see that he copied entire passages of shit he had already written for other publications before writing it for the New Yorker. But seriously? Don't these editors know that's it's 95 fucking degrees in New York today and Jonah cannot spend time writing supposed 'new, well thought out material" when solar noon time is quickly slipping away? If Jonah is looking for another job he should contact us. We whole heartedly support plagiarism from the smartest people we know. Read article>>

Since there's apparently a recent obsession with doing work all over the nation, Texas Christian University is sending "Fear of God" letters to second semester seniors with intense cases of Senioritis. It's enough with the fearing God shit, TCU, we get it. You're Christian. You want to scare the shit out of kids. It's a method and sometimes it works. But seriously, a huge drop in grades is not a sign kids won't do well in your school. It's a sign that they don't even care enough to pretend to care enough that you won't notice. Relax. Take a Xanax, Dean. It's like, okay the only time I've met someone from TCU was in my Tuscan Wine Tasting class but those girls were so stressed, they needed to get even more fucked up than the rest of us. I meannnn, Texas is one of the few states that still has the fucking death penalty (and uses it!). I think that's quite enough for this week's installment of "Fear of God. Get your shit together or die." Read article>>


Get ready to gauge your eyes out, seeing human beings. Mischa Barton is starring in Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, a music video where someone steals her clothes and she runs up and down some city streets in only a bra. The good news is that Mischa does not look that fat in this and is not picking her nose. The bad news is that this song kind of sucks and you have to watch Mischa Barton do shitty acting for about 4 minutes longer than you'd like to without even a love triangle with Ryan Atwood and a poor surfer to make up for it. Read article>>

It's the end of an era betches. No, we're not talking about graduation or the time before Rihanna becomes a crackhead. Yves Saint Laurent is changing its name! To Saint Laurent Paris, because apparently the inclusion of 'yves' doesn't scream "elitist french fashion house" quite loudly enough. Honestly we understand the original change from Saint Lauren Rive Gauche to YSL because it like, had the word GAUCHE in it, but now that all your "timeless" bags have Y's on them, everyone will know they're from last season. And honestly, SLP sounds like an ugly car from Detroit. Read article>>




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