Real World Roundup: Kwiig Gets Role of a Lifetime as Young Lucille Bluth

By The Betches

A really fucking scary convicted murderer has tried to plot Justin Bieber's assassination and castration via an outside hit man. This guy is serving two life sentences for raping and murdering a 15 year old girl so it makes sense that the Biebs would be his next target. I guess that’s what happens when you hear "Beauty and a Beat" one too many times. Read article>>

Kelly Clarkson is calling out Clive Davis for allegedly lying about her in his memoir. Like any true betch, she does not want to be accused of crying like a fucking nice girl. Davis said she cried in his office because she wanted to make changes to "Since U Been Gone" and he said that's bullshit. Also, he apparently told her that she was a shitty writer who should stick to singing. Way harsh, Tai. Read article>>

Kim Kardashian justifies dressing like a slut while pregant by saying that if she wears loose shit, it simply won't be flattering. I mean, fucking duh. You're pregnant you're not supposed to be wearing body suits. But still, we get it Kim. Way to reinforce the notion that being pregnant is not an excuse to treat your body like a fucking garbage disposal. Read article>>

I'm extremely fucking excited to report that Kristen Wiig will be playing a young Lucille Bluth the new season of Arrested Development. Like actually. Cannot. Wait. Lucille Bluth is like the betchiest mom of all time and we admire her calling her skinny daughter Lindsay out for being slightly to nonexistently overweight. I hope Kristen can handle the role of playing an all time legend. However, to think Kwiig is playing a younger version of anyone...I'm so SURPRISED! Read article>>

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