Real World Roundup: Miley's New Haircut Can't Be Tamed

By The Betches

Just in case like me, you thought Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux were already engaged, I'm here to betch slap you in the face and tell you they weren't. But they are now. Someone alert The Times. We were anxiously waiting for the stars to align for JAniston and it looks like she's finally found true happiness on conveniently the same weekend Brad and Angelina were rumored to be getting married. It's hard to keep up with all the facts in this race to see which ex-spouse will die alone and miserable. Our bets are on both but really Jen, we're happy for you. Just don't follow in Ross Geller's footsteps to become the Divorce Force, Divorco extraordinaire. Read article >>

Speaking of people who are engaged, Miley Cyrus has appeared to have had a Britney Spears style breakdown and decided to sport this lesbionic blonde pixie cut. Do we sense an impending meltdown? God I hope so, the end of August is SO boring. Read article >>

America, Fuck Yeah! Now that the Olympics is over we can all agree that #63 American woman managed to pretend to know about sports better than the woman of any other nation in the world. Betchiness is taking the world by storm and US females took 66% of the Gold Medals won by America. Despite this, McKayla Maroney is still not impressed. Read article >>

Anderson Cooper's bar owning boyfriend was caught not so subtly making out with some other bro in a New York park this weekend. Well this is awkward. Honestly, given how boss Anderson is, we wouldn't be surprised if the couple has some sort of open relationship arrangement where they're allowed to hook up with other people. Anderson, who's supposed to get married Labor Day Weekend is probably just pissed he did it in public. This is only slightly worse than having to see your boyfriend cheating on you in the background of someone's Facebook pics. Read article >>




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