Real World Roundup: Mitt Romney Loves Vagina

By The Betches

Apparently dreams really do come true. A few months ago when Snow White and the Huntsman came out we wished that Kristen Stewart would vanish. And voila! Aside from consistently dropping out of public appearances since her affair broke, she's also been dropped from the Snow White sequel, which will be directed by the bro she fucked. At this point it's pretty clear that Rupert and his wife Liberty Ross definitely got the better of this scandal because prior to this we're fairly sure no one knew their names, and now they're basically immortalized in our eyes as the ones who brought down K-Stew. Read article>>

A mere three days after Anderson Cooper's boyf was caught kissing some other bro in a very public park, Andy Coop got his revenge and a vaca to Croatia with arguably the best homosexual in existence, Andy Cohen. Talk about a power couple. And what's even better is that if you combine their first names, Andy and Anderson, you get the full name of the last role Kate Hudson did not embarrass herself in. Read article>>

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" - Rashida Jones urges John Travolta. In an interview Rashida stated, "Come on. How many masseurs have to come forward? Let’s do this.” And of course, like any celebrity who publicly says things that are true, she was forced to apologize on Twitter. Read article>>

Joe Biden made a very loaded remark to a "racially mixed" group of people at a campaign rally, saying that "Republicans will put you back in chains." Props on the admirable amount of #24 insensitivity, quite the ironic slavery joke. But why has no one pointed out the obvious double entendre here. We'll give you a hint. Do your chain hang low? Read article>>

Also in the world of political gaffes, Mitt Romney accidentally declared to a group of Cubans in Miami that he loves vagina. Well actually, he said he loves papaya, which is slang for vagina. Come on Mitt, we'd think that someone like you who's had so much lifelong contact with hotel and country club staff that you'd have some grasp on hispanic linguistics. On the bright side, we can now safely assume he's never slept with his maid. Read article>>

And finally we just had to show you this ridiculous DJs for Obama video. We know he can't promise it on the campaign trail, but we know in our hearts that if the big O is reelected he will certainly declare Coachella (both weekends) a national holiday and do everything he can to make sure July 4th never again falls on a Wednesday. Stay tuned for our election coverage, Betchocracy 2012 in weeks to come...




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