Real World Roundup: Serial Foot Licker Arrested, World at Ease

By The Betches

Clearly inspired by last week's serial hugger on the loose, a serial foot licker has been arrested for attempting to lick little girls' feet in the children's section of a library in New York. There's a lot of weird ass crime in the world these days. See girls, this is why you shouldn't read. Only bad shit can come from it. You can bet this shit wouldn't happen at the nail salon. Read article >>

A woman advertises the sale of her home by highlighting the fact that her husband left her for a 22 year old yoga loving slut. In an interesting twist, she even got this guy to pay for the sign. What a loser! Apparently discretion is out the window and this woman is trading her dignity for an interesting news article and county wide embarrassment for her bastard cheating husband. Eh, not a bad deal. Read article >>

Check out this slideshow of what celebs would look like if they were ordinary Americans. It's pretty funny. After viewing it we have to say the Kardashian one is amazing and that Amy Winehouse would actually probably have looked better if she didn't have so much money and fame. Beyonce and Jay-Z casually look the same. Our vote for best: hillbilly Brad and Angelina still look better than fat Jennifer Aniston. Not for nothing, this article should really be called "Celebrities if they were average americans and photographed in 1985." I haven't seen so many mullets, facial hair, and short lesbian coifs since fucking Pretty in Pink. Read Article >>

Chick-Fil-A President Dan Cathy came out as essentially saying he hates gay people and as supporting of "the traditional family". First of all, I had never even heard of this restaurant chain until now but I assume, like Sbarros it's primarily aimed at serving the hunger needs of dumb, trashy people so this doesn't come as a huge shock to us. This guy brags about being married to his first wife so you know he's bored as fuck and has nothing else to do. The real question is, how long till we find Mr. Cathy banging his underage male staff members in the back room of the Chick-Fil-a in the grand tradition of historical homophobes? Read Article >>




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