Real World Roundup: Sookie Stackhouse Gives Birth to Mystery Babies

By The Betches

Sooki Stackhouse and Bill Compton welcomed twin babies of an unidentified sexes sometime this week. We assume the reason for all the secrecy is that the half fairy/half vampire potent mix has created two demon children who are plotting to rid the world of the human population. That or Anna and Stephen like their privacy. Boring. We assume now that Sook has popped out her babies there will be a lot more sex scenes next season. TG, this show could use some new life. Pun intended. Read Article >>

Former betch of the week Chelsea Handler claims she was the survivor of a sea lion attack and was bitten during a paddle boarding outing in the pacific ocean. Intense as this seems, we're sure Chelsea was probably just drunk or high and imagined this whole thing. If there's anyone who could fight off a sea lion with her fuck off attitude and her rhetoric, it's Chels. Read article >>

Never one to shy away from making a tragic event all about her, Lady Gaga has cut her hair off in honor of the death of Terry Richardson's mother. If you don't know who that is he's a fashion photographer. This has to be the most ridiculous bullshit I've ever seen. No one asked you to cut off your hair for this woman, Gaga. You're just looking for an excuse to do it so you chose the death of a random person's mother and pretended it was a selfless act. Chill with the fake mourning for someone you didn't even know. At least Miley had the guts to cut off her hair as a way of showing she didn't give a shit what people thought. You're just doing it for lame attention. Read article >>

In an unsurprising twist of events, Lindsay Lohan is fucking up on the set of Scary Movie 5. The movie, which is totally circulating around the Oscars rumor mill (not) will have Lindsay doing a cameo opposite Charlie Sheen. Apparently she found out the cameo is making fun of her and is not pretending she has walking pneumonia to get out of doing it. Oh Lindsay, don't you know the movie will make fun of you with or without your presence? At least this way you can get paid and use some money on those large taxes you're trying to get Obama to cut for you. Whatever, we'd Still vote Sheen/Lohan 2012 for a better America if you guys were running. Strippers and cocaine for everyone! Read article >>




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