Real World Roundup: Taylor Swift's Guitar Gently Weeps Over Harry Styles' Uncircumcised Penis

By The Betches

John Mayer is probably fucking Allison Williams as the two were spotted together at a hotel in NYC this week. Oh wow, we're so surprised, John Mayer is fucking another actress to be his beard for publicity. Be on the lookout for more spottings of the two and then their inevitable breakup, and then if we're lucky Brian Williams announcing the headline on Rock Center. Read article>>

This article suggests that the real reason behind Taylor Swift and Harry Styles' breakup is that he was uncircumcised. Holy shit am I excited for her next breakup song. I'd love to help her get started. Are you in there little penis, after a bris will you come and greet us!? Read article>>

Now THIS is news. Linzlo is suing someone else for a change. Because she has strong principles about intellectual property is desperate for money she's suing 6126 leggings for cheating her out of profits because she claims she owns the 6126 trademark. She bought it because it's Marilyn Monroe's birthday and we guess she has a girl crush on her. It all makes sense now. Read article>>

Scott Disick takes a break from moisturizing to talk to Haute Living Magazine about his daily routine, which they break evaluate as costing multi-millions of dollars. This is literally the best schedule I've ever read in my life, starting at 11am when it takes him 45 minutes to "prepare an outfit with a fine luxurious blend of the best fabrics out there on the market today, a bespoke suit from Savile Row or Tom Ford." Hello Patrick Bateman. Read article>>




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