Real World Roundup: The Emancipation of Mimi into the World of Reality TV

By The Betches

In an effort to make sure she never misses an event where skinny people sport tight clothing, Victoria Beckham confirms the spice girls will be performing for the Olympics closing ceremony. God, if we knew this we would've definitely headed to London to see our favorite childhood band of all time. It seems like the girls worked things out over the course of their documentary. We have a feeling Vics didn't even tell the other Spice Girls they were performing and she just assumed that because she's on board everyone else would be. I mean it's not her fault she's so popular and everyone's jealous of her. We hope Mel C. isn't still hung up on the fact that Vic told everyone about that time she got diarrhea on the set of Spice World. Read Article >>

Mindy Meyer is an orthodox Jewish 22 year old who looks like the lovechild of a lesbian relationship between Snookie and Elle Woods. Mindy falsely claims that she's the "first young woman" to run for New York State Senate. Not going to lie, apart from the tacky leopard print designs she has on her website and the nauseating loop of LMFAO songs, this girl is pretty betchy. She clearly has not done the #36 work to check her facts, is #129 making shit up, and is trying to turn the New York Senate into a continuous dance party. Also, her resume is pink and scented. Read Article >>

No matter how bad your Tuesday is going, at least you don't have a 160 pound ball sac like this guy. I mean, most betches' entire bodies weigh about half that amount so we can only imagine how intensely grossed out this guy must be when getting on the scale. Being that we don't have a ball sac at all, we really can't imagine what kind of issues this guy is faced with. How does he go to the bathroom? Does he get his six foot ball sac waxed? Would it still hurt if you kneed him in the balls? Does he have more sperm than the average man? What's it like to have testicles? Is he circumcised? Looks like it's time to write a letter to TLC the freak show channel to find out. If you know any of these answers, please leave them in the comments! Read article >>

Mariah Carey is set to replace Jennifer Lopez as a judge on American Idol. Chill she's only getting 18 million dollars to sit in the chair, listen to terrible people sing, and then say stupid, fake encouraging shit. This sounds like my dream job and I'm actually really jealous. "It's gonna be so much fun working on @AmericanIdol," tweeted Mimi yesterday.  "As a singer-songwriter, I'm excited to help find and nurture new talent." wrote someone who does her tweet who clearly has a much better vocabulary than her. Check out this video of Mariah on her last sellout gig, The Home Shopping Network to see just how big of a train wreck/high entertainment value this stint will be. Read article >>







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