October 16, 2012
For today's real world roundup, we travel to Chocolate City.
Barack Obama has weighed in on the most boring feud of all time. He says Nicki and Mariah should work shit out and work together. What a novel idea, Barry. You should be in like, politics or something. When asked who his fav was, he actually said Mariah, claiming it was because she had done some performances for him. We think it's because she's a halfsie just like Barack. And Nick Cannon probably reminds Barry that if you marry a black person, everyone will just assume you're fully black anyway. Chill out with your fighting girls, no one wants to see this shit in the next presidential debate. Read article>>
The lawsuit filed by two black men saying that The Bachelor was racist for not casting any black bachelors or bachelorettes was thrown out of a Tennessee court this week. The judge said you can't tell producers how to cast their shows. This is the reason it's okay for the Cosby Show to be all black or Jersey Shore to have all trashy people with mandatory STDs. Although we were looking forward to Chris Brown as the next Bachelor, I guess it's still sort of weird that ABC now has full reign to not cast even the token ethnic guy who gets out during the first or second round anyway. I would love a good Asian bachelor though. A girl can dream... Read article>>
After watching The Office last week, Halle Berry decided to fuck with everyone and claim that she is a distant relative of Sarah Palin. She won't say how or in what way she's related to Palin, but I always knew I could see the resemblance between Catwoman and the inspiration for a future Disney movie where a hockey mom becomes the vice president. I wonder if now Sarah and Halle will be reunited and become bestie, cousins, or political allies. The jury is still out on who the better actress is. Read article>>
In what has clearly been an erratic, crazy news week, the NY Times has written an article about how ashamed people are to still have blackberries. We couldn't agree more. It's like, what are you, poor? Truthfully we have to really hide our laughter when we come across a person who still has like, an iPhone 4 so I can't imagine the shame someone feels when pulling out a blackberry bold. If you see one of these losers still harboring their slow, tuneless phones you should tell them you love their phone, and ask, "how is 2010 these days?" It will show them that you're really down to earth and shit. Read article>>