How Do I Redeem Myself After Acting Like A BSCB? Ask A Pro

Got a question for Head Pro? Email him at [email protected]

Dear Head Pro,

How do I redeem myself after acting crazy after a break up?

My ex boyfriend of a year and I broke up about two weeks ago. He, of course, kept texting me after I asked him not to so I could move on, acting as though he wanted to be able to work it out at some point (and when I say acting as though, I mean he actually said that and sadly, I bought it).

We are basically neighbors and I had the fortunate opportunity of getting stopped at a red light across of him on his way to drop off his random hook up. I gave him my best dirty look but avoided Carrie Underwooding his car. When he called to talk that day I acted totally cool about it (bc the reality is, this is what a lot of people do to get over people, I get it) but of course the many mimosas of Sunday brunch got to me. I texted and called and of course I got upset with him.

Now? I feel embarrassed. I've deleted his number, Facebook, unfollowed him in any way possible to avoid gleaning further knowledge about his moving on process. BUT I need to get my dignity back. Is it even possible or should I immediately engage in not giving a fuck?


I mean, what dignity are we talking about here? He intentionally led you to believe that he wanted to get back together, but had some rebounders in the hopper pretty soon after you broke up. I mean, I guess that's his right, but fuck that guy. He's still an asshole, and I don't think you're particularly out of line to give him the "fuck you for stringing me along" talk when you'd had a little liquid courage.

I don't think you've lost any face, here. I mean what's he going to tell his friends? "Hey guys, remember when I was leading on my ex while fucking girls behind her back? She totally called me out on it—what a crazy bitch, right?" Yeah, no way that's happening. Keep him blocked, and keep doing you.


Dear Head Pro,

For the last couple years I’ve been emotionally unavailable and I’ve been completely enjoying the single life. Being the hot betch that I am I can get any guy I want. Nonetheless, I really like playing them. I don’t allow any fuck boy to play me. Since I am emotionally unavailable, I don’t catch feelings for more than two seconds, I get bored pretty fast. My fucking problem is that once in a while there is a 1 in a million guy that actually manages to get me obsessed.

I noticed this guy at school and he was like the center of everything. I was so impressed with him. However, I didn’t do anything about it since I already had other guys to occupy my time with. Then one day he approaches me and after that we flirted for a while. He was basically the male version of me so we thought it’d be fun to play each other. We decided to have sex one day, with no strings attached obviously. The funny thing is he stood me up. Didn’t reply to my text all day and I fucking knew he did that on purpose. I obviously went out that day and posted snaps looking my best. He texted me telling me ‘he forgot’ and I didn’t text back. We haven’t talked since then.

However, now I am fucking obsessed. I realise he may not be all that, but just the fact that he’s not that into me makes me feel like I want him. Why do you think he did that? Is it because I played his best friend and then rejected him? Or is it because a lot of his friends were trying with me? I know guys like to compete. Will he try again? I may know what you’re going to say to me, but it’s still better to hear it from someone else.

Fucked up in the head french betch

Ugh. Like, I know that it's really common for people (especially right about the time you get to college) to get really obsessed with the illusion of power and control that comes with playing this steely, emotionless James Bond-esque character. But then sooner or later, you learn what a farce this is, because evolution has literally bred out of the gene pool anyone genuinely incapable of forming bonds with other humans. When you keep up the charade for too long, you see what happens—a dude that most girls would just be casually into winds up turning you into an emotional mud puddle by merely suggesting that he would have sex with you in a way that explicitly indicates you mean nothing to him.

Could it be that, I dunno, this is not a way that normal people go through life? And that these guys you "occupy your time with" are literal placeholders in your life for human relationships, and the only reason you don't "catch feelings" is because these guys are dorks that NO ONE would actually like? Is it possible that your insecurities lead you to believe that "playing" someone meant offering them NSA sex? Is there a chance that your perverse idea of "the game" meant that sending some sexy snaps would somehow faze a guy who willfully turned down the chance to have your ankles next to his ears earlier that same day? I don't necessarily have all the answers, but I think it's important to ask the questions.

I have no fucking idea why this guy did what he did, or if he'll try again. Maybe it seemed to easy to him and he thought he was being catfished. Or maybe it does have something to do with the way you treated his friend(s), and this was a low-cost way to strike back. What I do know, and this is not at all a plug, is that you desperately need to read our book and, like, revamp your entire dating outlook. Because what you're doing now clearly isn't working for you.

Got a question for Head Pro? Email him at [email protected]




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