Red Bull Owes You Money | Betches

Red Bull Owes You Money

By Queen Elizabetch

Red Bull advertises that it "gives you wings", but unless you have an extra chromosome or recently dropped acid you fucking know that's a slogan not reality. Well some people sued Red Bull because it turns out there isn't that much caffeine in a Red Bull. Color me shocked. This is why I always go for Starbucks, not a can of sugar.

Anyways, Red Bull now has to pay $13 million to everybody it "lied" to. Like this is the biggest joke, but also I'm taking full advantage. If you drank a Red Bull in the past 12 years - read: if you haven't been living under a rock in the Middle Ages - you get $10 cash or $15 worth aka 3 cans of Red Bull. So betches, sounds like the drink of the weekend is vodka Red Bulls. Just make sure you drink a Monster if you actually want to be awake enough to leave the pregame.






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