April 8, 2015
Of all the obscure 90’s movies to remake, Hollywood has decided that “She’s All That” deserves an updated version, because why the fuck not. You may have seen the original movie when you were like seven or recently on Netflix instant stream, where all irrelevant movies go to die.
Apparently the new movie is going to be “more diverse,” which basically means they are gonna put Keke Palmer in it and call it a day. The only thing that could make this movie more disappointing is if they fucking feature an Iggy song on the soundtrack.
Freddie Prinze Jr., the star of the original film who is now so unimportant that he’ll probs be on the next season of Dancing with the Stars, is apparently kind of upset about the whole thing. He posted on twitter about how the remake is taking away an “original script,” to which I LOL. The plot is literally every single Young Adult book by Meg Cabot combined into a 90-minute predictable segment. So fucking original.
Didn’t anyone watch “Not Another Teen Movie”? Isn’t that like the remake? Do we really need to remake a remake? Why fix what isn’t broken? Besides, “Not Another Teen Movie” literally cannot be topped. It’s by far even better than the original. “Give me an 'H'. Give me a 'U'. Give me a - giant pussy-licking, ass-fucker cock shit” – cinematic gold.
The real issue at hand is whether or not the infamous choreographed dance scene with Usher is going to be recreated. If anything, that was the most original and entertaining part of the whole goddam film.