Remembering Philip Seymour Hoffman: Along Came Polly

By The Betches

Despite having a successful career as an actor in serious movies like Almost Famous, Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead, Capote, The Master, for some reason the best and truly most epic role Philip Seymour Hoffman played was a disgustingly sweaty “actor” named Sandy Lyle who sharts his pants.

Let’s not remember PSH as a man with a drug problem, but instead let us remember him as Sandy Lyle. It’s not a pretty picture but at least it’ll bring a fucking smile to your face which was ultimately his goal as an entertainer. 

Sandy Lyle: Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.
Reuben Feffer: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?
Sandy Lyle: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.
Reuben Feffer: I don't know what that means.
Sandy Lyle: I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.
Reuben Feffer: You're the most disgusting person I've ever met in my life.

Playing basketball:
Sandy Lyle: RAINDROP!
[basketball bounces off the backboard]

Reuben Feffer: So whose party is this again?
Sandy Lyle: It's an art opening for this Dutch guy, Jost. His art sucks, but he used to sell me really good pot.
Sandy Lyle: Oh, man, I'm so friggin' horny.

Playing basketball, going up for a layup:
Sandy Lyle:  ICEMAN!
[Misses horribly]




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