Revenge Recap: Zero Dark Flirty

By The Betches

Watching Revenge this morning extremely hungover from Sunday Funday was like more miserable than anything I've ever done. And I watched the pilot of Carrie Diaries. But I mean, the episode wasn't that boring, like we got to watch most of the Grayson gang vacay it up in Cali, hear Victoria shout BONNE ANNIVERSAIRE MA BELLE to the newly renamed Charlotte Clarke, and watch Aiden's sister Colleen overdose on heroin upon finally realizing how bad the name Colleen is. Ugh, I need advil.

Call Outs

That opening scene with Emanda hooksing with Aiden and Daniel was pretty hot, and I have to say Daniel may be the first American whose hotness trumps a British accent.

How the fuck did Emanda, Daniel, Victoria, and Aidan all magically teleport to LA? Wouldn’t they be on the same flight? Can the Graysons spare that many private jets? Is it really safe to fly when Connie has a reputation for blowing up PJs?

And this acquisition dinner with Foxy Cleopatra was so fucking stupid. My dad loved kids. No my dad loved kids more! I was in a foster home. I was in Brooklyn when the lights went out one time! Stop talking about making your dad proud and go get a haircut.

Also, how many times can you use the word collude in one episode… Clearly someone on the writing staff must have learned the word like a week ago.

So all the initiative wants to do is cause a blackout? What is this, Flash Forward?


revengeZero Dark Flirty

Ashely to Victoria: "Spoken like a woman that no one is sleeping with." Somebody definitely did not check her 'tude at the door.

Aiden's sister is like the worst actress ever. Watching her overdose may or may not have been funnier than watching Liam Neison's daughter run franitcally in Taken .

Was the theme of this episode giving shitty gifts? First Padma gets Nolan a stupid fucking keychain and then Fake Amanda is like, "happy birthday Charlotte, here's this mold of crazy Carl's hand."

Daniel: My goal is to rebrand our image so that 'global' refers to 'world view' not 'world domination.' Tweet that Emanda, that was good.

Last week's recap>>




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