Revenge Recap: Comas, Clarkes, and Carls

By The Betches

Between Padma and Nole's oceanside breakfast, Amanda's mom drowning her, and the flashback to Amanda and her dad frolicking in the ocean... last night's episode had to be themed either "high tide" or like "bad acting."

Seriously Revenge, when your characters aren't mumbling their lines at inaudible levels they're busy popping out of thin air like Mason Treadwell and his bow tie. We really thought that guy burned down but no, here he is, dressed like a registered freakshow. The only new addition to the cast who doesn't completely bug us out is the British man who Mandy pretends like she doesn't totally love, but we know she does.

Finally, speaking of love, note to Revenge writers, please don't ever revisit the Charlotte and Declan relationship, especially now that they're aunt and uncle to the same kid. Not that incest has ever stopped an ABC primetime couple.

Call Outs

The Kara Clarke/Victoria showdown. Does Vic do her own gardening that she's holding gardening shears? Clipping roses is such an evil person funtivity.

These are rather incriminating phone calls about Kara Clarke's death to be having while your company is being looked into and you were recently on trial for terrorism.

Aw Nolesy! We're so sorry about your #55 dad. We know Mandy's too selfish to care about your problems, but we do.

Can the Porters have a convo that isn't about money? How do they even have any money left? Pretty sure no one has worked at this bar in over a year.

They named the kid Carl? How lame.

Daniel WOULD just follow this fake investor's plan to take over Nolcorp at the drop of a hat to hide the fact that he has no idea what the fuck is going on.


LOL Moments

"There's something else you need to know about your mother. Gordon Murphy was not only her savior but her husband. Also, she enjoys the Real Housewives of Atlanta. You should have stopped to consider who she was while so eager to find her."

Fake Amanda looks super skinz. Comas are good for the post natal diet I see.

Young Amanda was so gentle with an innate goodness. Old Amanda is a raging bitch.

How could any girl believe Nolan was straight with those pastels? If he's straight he's obviously sort of in love with Emily.

Can we get this kid a baby bjorn?

No but seriously... CARL!?

Season 2, episode 4 recap>>





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