December 8, 2011
So we've concluded that the reason this show has been getting worse every episode is because there's a direct relationship between red Sharpie screen time and entertainment value. They need to make this show back to how it was. We liked when Emanda would fuck someone up and then cross them out of that one pic. It was so.....what's the word for it...realistic.
Who the fuck knows what's going on now, we're so not following any plots anymore. All we know is that out-of-juvie Emanda actually would remind us a lot of Cher (Bono), if her favorite thing to do was blackmail people and not sing songs that inspire cross dressers.
We did notice however that little Emanda sports some sick Sperrys. Also, Nolan's shirts have been getting more gay as he gets more gay with Tyler.
Anyway we can't wait until next week, the preview looked sick. But when are they going to explore how Charlotte is a Clarke, we can't wait for the paternity test ep.
The Vic-Daniel-Emanda lunch date is so Oedipal. The more Daniel touches Emanda's hands the angrier Victoria gets, it's like she wants to fuck him… too much weird sexual shit on this show.
Declan moving in with Charlotte: You're like 5 years old and poor and you're getting an apartment with the girl you've known for 5 minutes whose parents wouldn't mind, no rather they'd totes be thrilled, if you disappeared. Ridic. Charlotte would never move in with Queeny McVanderWoodsen.
Regarding the creepy ominous music when Daniel comes into the pool house to confront Tyler. Chill out ABC.
Another OC correlation, Gingy lives in the pool house making Nolan Marissa Cooper by default. He does have her
bone structure lanky bod.
Why does Nolan think that Tyler the gingy midge can hurt him? Also Ty, throwing his comp in the pool? We're happy that's one less PC in the world, but do you really think THE NOLAN ROSS doesn't backup?!
Is the South Fork Inn the only fucking hotel in the Hamptons? How is South Fork a convenient place to hold business meetings.
Emanda and Mr. Miyagi talking shit about Daniel in Japanese, so internationally betchy.
Daniel is so handsomely stupid he would think all it takes to get a 50 million dollar investment is "I’m gonna be like, really careful with your money, yo"
More on Mr. Miyagi because we can't help it... he’s so Jackie Chan. Instead of creepily stalking Emanda from the side of her house why not just text her ‘ur 2 into ur bf, I’m dunzo’. People with 50 million dollars to throw around at some rando revenge plot usually have better things to do with their evenings, like teach karaté. Unagi....Ah salmon skin roll.
Why would Emanda’s dad hire a divorce lawyer to handle his appeal? That seems like a great way to get out of life in prison.
"Ty must have that magic touch" - Punny Daniel, little do you know.
Victoria on Tyler still living in the house: "I rather like that Tyler's there" - Who doesn't love an in-house prosti?
Jack to fake Amanda Clarke: "I can't tell you how good it feels to have you back" - Would you really remember someone you hadn't seen since you were 5 when you're 25 and miss them that intensely, like no...OOoooo that sand-art was our secret treasure
Charlotte to Declan: "You don't wanna move in with me?" - Is it so surprising that a 16 year old boy isn't ready for that just yet? Have his balls even dropped?
This ending is so Mean Girls. Emanda told Daniel that Nolan was too gay to function. Nolan to Emily : You’re a mean girl Emanda you’re a betch! Emily to Nolan: I want my pink shirt back!”