Revenge Recap: CEOs and Conrad's Hoes

By The Betches

When this episode began and Emanda started whispering her little Shakespearean soliloquy about "revelations" my first thought was obviously THANK FUCK this shit isn't coming back until least I'll be a little tanner then. The only "revelations" I personally had were wonderment over why this ep looks like it was shot in Victorian times, why did they decide to reuse footage from Sweet Home Alabama for the opening scene, and what the fuck was the dress code at this shooting party, Jumanji chic?

The episode only continued to get more outrageous. A baptism for 300 people, these two creepy brothers trying to fuck with the Porters (who are obviously of no interest to us), and a black man in the Hamptons...must be trouble.

Call Outs

I love Daniel trying to play hardcore CEO private investigator. "I know you have like 500 billion million dollars invested in my company and you didn't think I would notice! Ha! I did! Good thing not that many people I know read your little 'W2 Forms.'"

The merger meeting with Nolan Daniel and Ashley is like comparable to Apple holding their keynotes on a playground. Trustees, meet us by the red monkeybars.

Who refers to their own home as "Grayson manor." Victoria G. That's who.

Vicky has plans to force Ash into her former gig in sex slavery. Is this some weird Code of Hammurabi shit? An eye for an eye, sex with one fugly man for sex with another fugly man.

Okay Jack your ex girlfriend is your baby's godmother. That's normal. You'd think Emanda would be able to feign happiness better than that shit she pulled over the baptismal bowl.

This priest is a little TOO happy

LOL Moments

Omg Daniel still has a blackberry! That's the funniest part of this episode! (I actually thought Daniel was going to pull out a gun but the blackberry is actually more fatal.)

Nolan: “Marco, what’d you come to collect the knife you left in my back?" ...he’d just like a little warning next time you shove something in from behind.

Jack to Nolan: "You're good at finding stuff out about people right? You like, have an iPhone right?"

Victoria: Sex with your son’s girlfriend! Really Conrad?!
Conrad: They were ON A BREAK!!

I like Conrad's fighting tactics. "Stop talking to me about the fact that I fucked our son's girlfriend. We have bigger issues. We need to deal with the lack of covers on the TPS reports."

So Dannyboy is the new CEO. And the countdown begins until Danny runs Grayson Global into the ground. Why invest a billion dollars when we can million dollars?

Last week's recap>>





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