June 25, 2015
Rick "Shout out to all the pear" Ross got arrested for kidnapping and assaulting some random guy in Florida, because what else would Rick Ross do between albums? Basically, Ricky Rosé and his bodyguard forced some guy into Rick Ross' pool house and then beat him with a handgun while asking him questions. Whoever this poor guy was has a bunch of chipped teeth and a fucked up jaw, so he can't eat normal food anymore. On the bright side, liquid diets are a great way to lose weight for summer vacation.
Rick Ross and his bodyguard are probs going to jail for a while, so he might regret his "I'm 24/7 like iHop" rap. Idk tho. Best of luck to the rapper who gives us our ironic Instagram captions, let's hope he writes a new album in prison..