RKOBH Recap: This Means Instawar

By The Betches

Last night’s episode right back up where last week left off, in New York City. Dorothy already forgot about her cronut, Morgan cannot stop talking about her blog, you know the one she didn’t give a shit about a minute ago, and Roxy is still trying really hard to prove to Dorothy that she is not an intern even though Dorothy does not know or care. And EJ is straight chillin.

First, we witness our first instagram fight. What happened: Dorothy posted a pic of the three girls but Morgan looked extremely blurry. Morgan is not happy unless she is HD. So she’s like DOROTHY WTF. And Dorothy is all like, "It’s not like you’ve never put up a shitty pic of me, like you’ve totally cropped my face out before." Then Morgan completely ignores her as most betches do in fights and continues, “why couldn’t we just take another picture I look COMPLETELY blurry,” and then Dorothy continues on with her point, ignoring Morgan’s argument, “ HERE’S THE PIC OF YOU CROPPING ME OUT.” Then it went on:

Morgan: I didn’t crop it, you didn’t fit into the photo.

Clearly it wasn’t settled until Dorothy deleted the photo, after she admitted it was a little selfish of her to put up a picture where she looked the best and her shoes and outfit looked the best. You guys, this is like EXTREMELY dramatic television. Like you’re fucking lucky we’re recapping it. #Instagramgate

Also, why do they keep wearing these fugly pajama sets? Morgan’s look like she bought them from Toys R Us and Dorothy's are like silky and decent but also something I can see Richard Gere wearing.

Then we move on to Roxy's interior decorating undertakings. Personally, if all my house consisted of was Fendi and Hermes I’d want to vom. It's tacky, especially those pillows. The table was cool but how could it have been custom made if literally the scene prior she bought it from a store "as is.” #liesroxytoldme

Ok so Morgan’s big Trendabl article. Aka a sponsored post. WHAT TO WRITE!? Usually she just writes any sentence that flows out of her mouth but now she has to think for a moment. Do I capitalize the first word? Do you want me to indent the paragraphs? Should I single or double space? THINK MORGAN THINK. I’m seriously wondering if she emailed the Trendabl guy those last 2 questions though.


When we were introduced the most badass security guard of all of NYC: Lindsay

I’m sure the guy whose house Roxy is decorating will be thrilled to see the girls posing on his brand new custom made table.

"The first thing I do every morning is check instagram and wipe the drool off my face"

“I usually try to have less than three animals in one outfit”

“That’s unfortunately the reality that we live in, where instagram does matter”

"Lindsay, are you our Miranda!?


They're so trying to make the Dorothy-Cooper relationship into a thing but it's so clearly not a thing

They clearly think New York is where fun and happiness go to die

The security guard is throwing these girls so much shade and he probably thinks they’re the worst people ever as they’re just casually buying 12,000 dollar rings. The fact that this is on camera is one of the few things stopping him from taking out his security guard gun and shooting them in between the eyes.

This guy talking to Morgan about her blog made the mistake of actually talking to her like she gives a shit about her business.




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