August 25, 2015
This week was the Beijing World Championships for track and field, aka what the sober girls did while you were playing lacrosse in the spring. This girl Molly Huddle was running the 10,000 meter race, which is basically a 6.2 mile sprint - your 5K is cool too - and majorly fucked up. Homegirl was about to get third place, but started her victory dance too soon. As she mentally debated whether to whip or dougie, she slowed down and another girl beat her. Sucks to suck Molly.
Tbh, 3rd place is second loser. Unless you're Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality, nobody gives a fuck if you don't win. But Molly still would've won the Bronze Medal, which is better than going home empty handed (same logic applies to boys on Spring Break). At least 4th place Molly gave a Lauren Conrad level quote: "It's going to take a long time to get over."