Apparently getting your ass railed by the international media makes you take a long look at your life choices, because 32-year-old frat bro Ryan Lochte is now engaged. His fiancée is Playboy model Kayla Rae Reid, who’s like super pretty, don’t get us wrong, but she’s a Playboy model.
Ryan proposed over the weekend after a helicopter ride over LA, which sounds super romantic but we would probably be miserable because it would be so loud. Take note, gentlemen, we don’t want to be wearing earplugs when we get proposed to. Lochte said they went to the top of a mountain in Malibu where they had a picnic with roses and Champagne. He said Kayla was still asking what was going on, so she’s probably not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Now Kayla can get to work planning the perfect Playboy wedding while Ryan goes back to getting booed on Dancing With The Stars, which is really the way things should be. Tbh we’re still wondering exactly what happened at that gas station in Rio, but who the fuck cares. These two are probably meant for each other, and no one will remember them six months from now anyway. Mazel tov, and Kayla, don’t buy a fucking sheer wedding dress.