November 13, 2014
Our TBT today is one of our favorite shows from betchhood, Sabrina the Teenage Betch. Sabrina hated to do work and was constantly having anxiety over things like using magic when she wasn’t supposed to, or worrying about how to mindfuck Harvey into liking her.
Salem was basically her gay bff, and he was sassy AF with a betchy resting face. Even though she lived with her two aunts, she was totally a daddy’s girl and kept him in a book for like when things got really tough. Sabrina was constantly getting in trouble with the Witches Council, preparing us for how to deal with Standards - better to beg forgiveness than ask for permission.
The show was a part of TGIF (RIP) on ABC, which taught us how chic abbrevs could be in early betchdom. Paired with two bro driven shows like Boy Meets World and Teen Angel, Sabrina held her own like a boss betch.
Let’s talk about Harvey Kinkle. From day one, he was in love with Sabrina, but acted super shady by not asking her to the dance and flirting with Libby and even crushing on her best friend Valerie. Despite this sketch behavior, he did also punched a hole in the wall out of jealousy for her, so we knew it was definitely true love. We wanted them to end up together, but like a true betch Sabrina was indecisive and had her share of other romances. Thank god she ultimately decided not to branch out and wanted to spend eternity with him instead.
We loved Sabrina because even though she started off as Cady Heron pre-Regina George, she was a fucking witch and literally always got what she wanted. Also, she casually made Britney Spears appear one time, and this was Britney pre BSCB phase.
Oh yeah, and we'll admit we totally went and saw Drive Me Crazy in movie theaters because of her, and we fell in love with Adrian Grenier, years before any bros started obsessing over Entourage. Sorry bout it.