September 9, 2014
The name Sara Blakely may not mean much to you because it sounds like an elementary school teacher, but I do know the word Spanx means something to you no matter how skinny you are. Sara Blakely is the founder of Spanx and the world’s youngest self-made female billionaire. When she flunked her law school admissions test she ended up having to take a job selling fax machines door to door. Like who the fuck wants someone to come to their door with a fax machine? The only thing that works for is cookies.
Anyway, she obviously hated this job but still managed to be the number one sales person in her area and therefore had to attend a sales convention in Florida. At the scorching hot summer convention she was forced to wear pantyhose and said not only was she like dying of heat stroke but she also despised the appearance of the seamed toe in open toed shoes (gasp at the thought) but still loved the way the top of the tights made her body appear firmer. Because of this she decided to try to cut off the bottom of a pair of her pantyhose in her first makeshift pair of Spanx but was still dissatisfied with the way they rolled up her leg.
She spent the little money she had in savings to develop a product that actually fit well and went out to find a patent lawyer. Since there were no female patent lawyers in Georgia at the time no one believed in her idea (since men don’t understand the horror of the muffin top, period bloating, or the pain of sucking in your stomach all night in a tight dress). She instead bought a book from Barnes & Noble and wrote her own patent. She then went to manufacturing companies who all turned down her idea since she was not established. When she was about to give up she received a call from a man who owned one of the manufacturing company’s she visited who said his daughters convinced him to take a chance on her.
Now Spanx is a multi-million dollar company that has changed the lives of women across the world. She is currently in the process of building a brand new three story headquarters for Spanx in downtown Atlanta. Standing on the rooftop she turned to a journalist and said, “All this because I didn’t like how my butt looked in white pants.”
Sara Blakely is an iconic betch and although no betch will openly admit it, most of us have given into buying Spanx when we should just try to workout more or stop drinking so much, just had a baby, or had that unfortunate freshman 15 incident. Here's to this power betch, we are forever indebted to her invention.