March 31, 2015
Get your ass to Starbucks: scientists have found that three cups of coffee a day can combat the liver damage from binge drinking. Praise Jesus. So really, our lifestyles are completely healthy. These scientists studied 8.2 million people (so this was super legit) and found that "one cup of coffee a day reduces the risk of liver cancer by 14 percent." So my hangover latte is preventing cancer.
We already knew that coffee is a gift from god because it also prevents type-2 diabetes, heart disease, and Parkinson's disease. All I'm taking away from this is that my insurance needs to start paying for my coffee. Seriously, if they'll pay for vaccines then they really should cover iced coffees and skvls.
This study also found that overweight and obese people are at higher risk for liver cancer. So basically, doctor's order are: stop eating, do a couple shots, and order a latte.