April 29, 2015
Even though when it's executed correctly the humble-brag is a betch staple, apparently it's also the most annoying type of brag (as opposed to the regular brag, pretty much the only other way to brag). How do I know this? Oh it's easy, I did a survey of 800 nice girls in my vicinity. Jokes, researchers from the Harvard Business School conducted a study. Because it totally takes an ivy league education to figure that out.
The study was conducted in two parts: first, they rounded up a bunch of people and gave them a bunch of statements, to varying degrees of bragging. So like, "I'm so popular" vs "I'm sorry that people hate me, but I can't help it that I'm so popular" vs a complaint like "People hate me." They discovered that, newsflash: when you pull a Gretchen Weiners people know you're full of shit and you're not really being modest at all. All the more reason to keep doing it.
Researchers also had their volunteers read humble-braggy vs. straight-up braggy statements and rate how attractive they imagined somebody who would say those things would be. They found that humble-braggers were deemed less attractive, which kind of puts a damper on things but probs won't get me to stop doing it completely. I wasn't a psych major but is "Close your eyes and imagine a hypothetical person saying this hypothetical statement" really a valid research method?
I'm glad that money and time were spent answering a question that could probably determined just as accurately by posting a single Facebook status. I wonder if Yale is conducting an equally in-depth study to determine whether selfie sticks make other people think you're a fucking idiot?