April 15, 2015
In either great news or horrid news depending on your relationship status with gluten right now, science has come out to announce another benefit of being skinny—you get less hungover! Despite the common logic that a beer belly prevents you from feeling your 7th Bud Heavy, it actually turns out that the more fat you have on the bod the higher your blood alcohol content is in your body. Some shit about skinny people having more water in the blood steam to dilute the alcohol. Basically this means that the ‘risk training’ your sorority made you take in college has been sort of false all along—you actually can go shot to shot with your linebacker formal date! But then again, it gets complicated because the less you weigh the faster you get drunk. Right? Right? Idk. Where’s the tequila?
Anyways, the research gets better. When your liver isn’t fat, (because apparently they can be?), it also clears out the toxins from your vodka sodas faster, making you wake up feeling only like dying instead of literally dying. Hallelujah to all my betches who would prefer to pretend to be hungover AF to not get shit for watching Netflix all day instead of actually being hungover AF.