Science Says Women Need More Sleep Than Men

By Betch Waldorf

Scientists at Duke University have finally given us the okay to #170 nap during bullshit business meetings- it’s good for our health. They have discovered that women need sleep way more then men, as it helps us not be depressed and get heart disease and all that other depressing shit. It basically takes beauty sleep to the fucking extreme. If you’re trying to stay alive a little longer, fucking sleep in.

Lack of sleep doesn’t really affect men’s health at all- so, if your man is sleeping all fucking day, wake his ass up because he doesn’t even need it/deserve it. You do. The man who conducted the study said that women are found to be “more angry, more depressed and more hostile in the morning”, which is so true because every real betch is def not a #223 morning person. Which brings me to my next point, there is no fucking reason the workday can’t begin at 11am. Obama, make it happen.

Science is clearly a fucking homie because it's recently given us the okay to drink red wine and tequila to lose weight and to sleep more. We'll just be here patiently waiting for the day that you tell us that doing coke is beneficial for our eyesight or some shit. Keep that good shit coming, Science.




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