March 18, 2015
We all know the Thursday routine: water bottle, coffee, sunglasses, and mild shame. Wine Wednesday can be pretty brutal (if you're not hungover right now, then you're living life wrong), but now scientists have figured out how to make hangover-free wine. There is a God. Basically they use some GMO technology where they alter the genetics of how yeast reproduces. This process called maloactic fermentation sometimes gets fucked up because of how the yeast reproduces itself. Scientists just have to modify an enzyme to make sure that the maloactic thing happens, and voila no hangovers. In the thousands of years that betches have been drinking wine (see: Cleopatra and Mary Magdalene), nobody has been able to fix the only bad thing about it. Somebody get these men a nobel prize and a raise.