Scott Disick Goes To Rehab

By Betch Waldorf

Former Betch of the Week, Scott Disick, has checked into rehab in Costa Rica this week after acting like a drunk fuckboy all weekend. Obvi he can’t go to rehab in like Kentucky or some shit, he’s gotta go to paradise in order to detox. Lord problems.

If you think this change of heart on sobriety is stemmed from the fact that he has three little kids that look up to him, then you are living in fucking fairyland. We all know Mason needs to man up and learn that papa needs a martini. Actually, Scott decided he finally needed help after he got fucked up in Atlantic City at an event he hosted and ending up ranting on stage and then peacing out at like 8pm. Classic.

After that, Kourtney was like “Scott, you gotta get your shit together”, which is kind of ironic since she’s basically a glorified midget who is only famous because she’s related to Kanye- through marriage. Also, a moment of silence for the times when Kourtney was the hot one.

I feel like I’ve seen this episode of KUWTK before… right? Scott has been giving this ultimatum of acting like an adult or GTFO like ten times. Kourtney clearly can’t pull the trigger (or pull out, holy shit 3 kids) and thank god because he’s the real star of that show.

He’s apparently going to be using Iboga treatment, which is some African tree root that makes you not want to turn up. It’s the rehabilitation drug of the Ndebele tribe, doesn’t that mean anything to you?
Best of luck to you Lord Disick. But if I have said it once, I have said it a million times: better to be an alcoholic than fat (we’re talking to you Rob).






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