June 26, 2014
Okay so funnyman NJB Seth Rogen and his selfie-obsessed, borderline homosexual BFF James Franco are coming out with a new movie called “The Interview”. Basically, it’s about Rogen and Franco being CIA agents sent to North Korea (which is the scary one not the one Juan Pablo where went during his season on The Bachelor) to assassinate Kim Jong-Un. In case you exist under a rock, Kim Jong-Un is the dictator of North Korea.
At first, Kim Jong-Un was kinda down with the idea. Like no publicity is bad publicity kind of thing, amiright? But then, he was like “WTF this is an act of war and terrorism” which is kind of ironic seeing as how that’s literally all his DICKtator ship is based on. And apparently he’s super threatened. Not sure if it’s by Rogen and Franco, or just the premise of the film in general. Either way, the fact that he’s genuinely worried is more dumb than a Twilight book. If America wanted to kill you, we probs wouldn’t make a major motion picture beforehand. And we def wouldn’t send Seth Rogen’s chubby ass to do it.
Anyway, if the movie gets released (which it still probably will cause America, fuck yeah!) North Korea is going to basically declare war against us. Poor Barack Obama, he’s just like the backseat bitch in this whole situation trying to save America from a cinematic based war. “Don’t drag America into this, we’re pitching tomorrow."