May 6, 2015
A couple decided to have sex on a beach in Florida, yet again proving that the weirdest shit happens in Florida. Side bar: How did that not happen on an episode of Jersey Shore? Anyway, somebody filmed them and a three-year-old watched (that kid is going to be so fucked up), so they got arrested. Nothing ruins the mood like a mug shot and finger printing. They were charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, because they reenacted porn in public. It took the jury approx 15 minutes to decide these people were guilty as hell. The Lifetime original movie about this is going to be remarkably terrible, and my DVR is already set.
They're being sentenced as lifetime sex offenders and might go to jail for 15 years. So even though you're on vacation and Lane from Gilmore Girls had sex on a beach, like maybe don't do it.