Well ladies, there goes another one. Just kidding, we honestly wouldn’t get within a mile of Shia LaBeouf without a can of Febreze, but he got married this weekend. The bride was his longtime girlfriend Mia Goth, who people are still calling an actress even though she’s definitely like, never been in a real movie.
The wedding was appropriately strange for Shia. They got married in Vegas at the Viva Las Vegas chapel, and TMZ has assured the public that they went with the Elvis theme for their ceremony. Of course this sounds fucking awful, but we would be surprised if Shia LaBeouf did anything even a little bit normally.
Shia reportedly cried during the ceremony, but there’s really no way to know the specifics because there were only like, two people there. Now these two happily married batshit weirdos will probably disappear into a cloud of dust, not to be seen for approximately two years. We never know where Shia will pop up again, but we’re still waiting for a Disturbia sequel so let’s hope it’ll be for that.