January 8, 2015
Louis Stevens and “Dance Moms” child star Maddie Ziegler star in the newest music video “Elastic Heart” by singer Sia and it’s literally the weirdest shit you’ve ever seen. At first I did not know it was a music video; I thought it was just a sad short film about homeless dance battles.
Maddie, as you may realize, is the same girl who starred in the summer music video “Chandelier” by Sia- and wow, didn’t that song get annoying real quick. Since Sia doesn’t like to show her face, she’s done the totally normal thing and handpicked a child to represent her.
The video starts by showing LeBeouf and this little psycho girl covered in dirt circling around each other in a giant cage. It’s oddly similar to an ecstasy trip I had last summer, but that’s beside the point.
They begin circling each other in some weird, fucked up mating ritual and growling. Shia eventually gets so scared by a girl who weighs the same amount as his right leg, that he fucking monkey bars it up to the top of the cage. But, it was pretty sexy TBH.
He then jumps from the top and tries to crush her because #wcw and then awkward straddles a fucking preteen.
Like was anyone thinking about this during filming? Like hey, Sia, I know this is like “art” and all, but isn’t it all a little pervy. Since the girl is like 12 and Shia is old and not even famous? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.
Eventually, Maddie decides to peace the fuck out and slips out of the cage bars because she’s a tiny betch. Shia, being the stage 5-clinger that we knew all along he was, flips out and just sadly stares at her in silence.
It’s all very strange and I had to watch it multiple times before I grasped the true meaning of it all: Sia is a very strange girl who may or may not have taken the same ecstasy as me last summer.
Overall, the song is pretty good and holy shit Shia LeBeouf can really work a pair of nude, dirty boxer briefs. Yeah, you read that right.