February 16, 2015
For those of you who haven't been keeping up with Scandal, I don't know what the fuck you're doing with your lives. After 3.5 seasons of angst that seemed more appropriate in a dystopian YA novel than the White House, Shonda has decided to (momentarily) move on from the Olivia-Fitz-Jake love triangle. "But what could possibly fill the voice left by Olivia's conflicted heart?" you're undoubtedly asking yourself while wearing your Team Jake T-shirt. Oh, you know, just a little combo of treason, psychological abuse and kidnapping.
That's right, Olivia Pope has been kidnapped by a team of professionals hired by the Vice President, who is using her as leverage to force Fitz to invade West Angola and become a Republican again. Not surprisingly, this plan works out because while America may not negotiate with terrorists, the President's dick sure does. No one informs the Vice President that blackmailing the leader of the free world is probably a bad call in the long run, but whatever.
When she's not too busy being MacGyver and murdering her kidnappers armed with nothing but hallucinations and the underwire of her bra, Olivia is plotting her own escape. Like seriously, just give her a fucking country to run already. She convinces her captor to auction her off on the black market, because whoever held her held the President of the United States by the balls, both literally and figuratively. Obviously this is all part of some greater plan that involves Jake going G.I. Joe on Washington while Huck mumbles at a computer screen and Quinn remains utterly fucking useless, but not all Scandal fans were that quick to catch on.
Instead, they took to Twitter and accused Shonda Rhimes of being a racist. Shonda Rhimes, a notable black woman who frequently references themes of racial, social, and gender-based inequality in her three hit TV shows, a racist. The conversation went something like this:
Twitter: Selling a black woman? Like, wow Shonda, do you not remember slavery?
Shonda: Yes I fucking remember slavery you ignorant pieces of shit.
She went on to say that maybe, just maybe, there was a reason she went with the "black woman auctions herself off" story line, and then accused anyone who disagreed of not being a true Gladiator. Her disappointment was palpable and the dissenters have probably already been neutralized by real life B613. I don't know how many times we have to say it, but you don't fuck with Shonda Rhimes.