Should I Hookup With My Back Burner Bro? Dear Betch...

By Sgt. Olivia Betchson

Dear Betches,

I am a Betch in training (I'm gonna be in my junior year of high school next year) and I think I'm doing pretty good at it. I've read your website religiously ever since my friend told me about your book. Anyways, down to the advice part. I recently got back together with an ex of mine. I guess he's a BBB? Anyways we went out a bit for about two months, but then he breaks up with me. A friend of mine who's a guy sent me a screenshot of a convo he had with the BBB and apparently he not only cheated on me but he had sex with some Nice Girl while I was away in California during our relationship (over a weekend). I've gotten over that and all because whatever he's a loser but now my friend keeps sending me pics and asking to hook up? He's a year younger than me and like a brother to me, but he's like really attractive and is totally chasing me. I'm not sure if I should lay low for a while or go for it. I don't really want to be in a relationship for a little bit because what the other guy did really hurt me and I'm not ready to move on. I don't know what to do!


He has an eight pack

Dear He has an eight pack, 

Know how I know you're in high school? You used the term "eight pack" earnestly. First off, I need you to recognize that abs do not a hottie make. Case in point: The Situation.

I'm all for betches doing whatever they want, but it sounds like you don't really like this guy? Like you say he's attractive but you initially called him "your friend" and specified that he's "like a brother to you." I really doubt that, BTW—clearly this guy was just biding his time until you'd let him smash. If you really read the book you'd know that. But anyway, yeah, I feel like you wrote in because you don't really like this guy, but you want to like him, so you want me to tell you that you like him so you can hook up with him without feeling weird. Am I wrong? If you were 100% into him, you wouldn't even have anything to ask me in the first place. I get that you probably feel wronged and possibly embarrassed by your ex's actions and want validation from hooking up with this hot new guy, but like, don't force it. You're, what, 16 tops? You have plenty of time to find a guy who works out, who you're actually into.

Just wait till you're old enough for Tinder,

The Betches

Got a fucked up question only The Betches will understand? Email us at [email protected] and you just might get a response.





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