July 22, 2013
I’ve been having a semi-existential crisis re: the iPhone's "Read Reciept" option. To turn on, or not to turn on? Now that pretty much everyone (who matters) has an iPhone, I've been in some heavy debates with my friends over this topic and each of them seem to have really extreme and strong opinions on the matter. One friend who opts out of turning on Read Reciepts says they are a sure sign you are bat shit crazy, but another friend who has hers turned on says it feels, and I quote, “empowering”. So, is it an indicator you are a socially inept weirdo, or is it kind of badass and shows you don’t give a fuck if the person knows you’re ignoring their lame message?
Delivered & Not Read Betch
Dear Delivered & Not Read Betch,
What kind of fucking borderline special needs friends do you have who would actually refer to the fact that someone can see when they've read a text message as something that's 'empowering'? If that's the modern female's definition of empowering every feminist fighting for women's rights to vote and work might as well just shoot themselves in the head right now. Now, to address your question I'm going to say that having 'read receipts' turned on isn't an indicator of anything except the fact that you're too fucking stupid to figure out how to turn off the application on your iPhone. Who the fuck would want their mom to know they're ignoring them when they're being asked to do annoying shit like running errands or 'getting a job'? Read receipts are never useful, they're stress inducing, and give away too much information about your relationship with your phone. Most of all, it robs every betch of her right to pretend she's busy when the dud of the group is asking to make plans. The answer is obvious. As they say in the scriptures, to ignore is human, to turn off read receipts is divine.