April 24, 2015
A friend is a terrible thing to waste. Friends are for life, while hook-ups come and go. Should you find yourself wondering whether you should hook up with a bro that’s a friend of yours, consider these things first.
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with being in the friend zone. That’s a stigma that we can all blame on thirsty bros talking shit.
The rule of thumb with un-friendzoning is to be honest about feelings. If it’s clear he’s looking for more than just a fun time, but you’re basically just bored, hooking up with a good friend could ruin your friendship. On the other hand, if that’s the case, then you’re also lying to yourself when you say he’s “like my brother” – everyone knows he’s only nice because he’s in love with you. If you realize this, you also realize you’ll eventually break his heart or he’ll eventually lose interest – but either way, the “good friend” dynamic is going to change.
If you’re both just chill, attractive people that get drunk and decide to hook up, things can stay just as chill as before. But like, be honest… if he asked you out in earnest, would you be interested? If you’re the kind of person that starts fantasizing about taking him as a +1 to a wedding after one blowjob, you might want to keep him in the friendzone. Because chances are, you’re not the only female friend gate he’s slipped past. If you’re virtually apathetic about him dating other girls, then yeah, you’ll probably be pretty chill to hook up as friends.
Friends with benefits is tempting because you’ve already done the getting to know you part. The best time to unfriendzone a bro is when you both realize you’re magically single at the same time, have had enough time between breakups that you’re not like vulnerable or whatever, and you both know each other well enough to know you’d never date each other. Sure, you can be attracted to each other, but you both know each other’s flaws and crazy shit enough that you know you’d never want to be in a relationship with each other.
We’ve all been curious about our friends at some point, and with the right combination of booze, breakups, and boredom, hooking up with a bro friend is a win win situation for both of you – at the time, at least. It’s always fun in the moment, even when you both realize you’ve passed the point of no return. So, as long as you’re cool with not being cool for a while – should one of you get weird, then unfriendzone that bro.