Science Says You Can't Orgasm From Sex Because Your Vagina Is Too Big | Betches

Science Says You Can't Orgasm From Sex Because Your Vagina Is Too Big

Just when you thought we were making strides for feminism, scumbag scientists had to go fucking it up with their “research” and “studies.” This latest one, out of Indiana University (the only good thing to come out of there, and no, your camp friend from Long Island who went there for undergrad doesn’t count), said that the size and shape of the vagina affects how enjoyable sex is for a woman, and not, as we’ve been saying for centuries, the size and/or performance of your fuckboy’s dick.


I will provide one warning, and one warning only, right now, that if you are uncomfortable hearing/reading about private parts, stop reading now and get off this site entirely. Then get your ass back to whatever Amish hole you crawled out of.

Okay, we good here? Cool, cool. Here’s the gist of the findings: If your clitoris is located 2.5cm away or less from your urinary tract, you’ll probs get off from good ol’ P-in-V fucking. If it’s 3cm or more, good fucking luck, that shit ain’t happening. How you go about measuring that, I really have no clue. Maybe it could be a good bonding experience for you and your bootycall—you, him, and the metric ruler you definitely have in your possession.

If you’re out there and you don’t finish from sex alone, that’s cool. Not everybody does it. To each her own. I’m sure by now you’ve figured out what gets you there, and if not, go do that shit! Stop reading my rants! You have more important things to do! Anyway though, I’m not here to shame you. What I am here to shame, though, are the implications that this study is threatening to have on the fuckboy population, aka, the male population under the age of 35—and consequently, us betches and our sex lives.

Look. I’ve had a few dicks in my day (sorry, parents), and I can tell you that there is a BIG (pun not intended but lol) difference between fucking basically my forearm versus a tiny cocktail weenie. So, fuck that, I will not have some dude with a little marshmallow Peeps dick talking shit about how on-point his dick game is and it's got to be MY fault I'm not enjoying it, citing this study, because “all that matters is your clitoris’s proximity to the urinary tract, size is totally not important at all, while I’m at it, neither is oral because again like we previously established vis à vis the aforementioned study, your ability to get off is all on you and your clitoral/urethral location, none of this is my responsibility.”

No. Fuck that. Women deal with enough when it comes to sex—the whole Madonna-whore complex, slut shaming, prude shaming, body shaming, unrealistic expectations from porn, etc. etc. I could go on until I hit menopause. I am not about to let some people with a research grant tell me my own anatomy has already predetermined whether or not I’ll ever orgasm from sex. No. You won’t do it. Fuckboys, if you’re listening: Size is still important (to a degree, I'll give you that). Foreplay is still important. You still cannot jackhammer away while I lay there making grocery lists in my head and then blame it on the layout of MY OWN vagina when you collapse on top of me after 3 minutes and I am not even mildly turned on.

I don’t care what science says. If an orgasm from sex is what you want, you chase after it. Don’t let anybody—even if they do have an advanced sciences degree—discourage you from following your dreams. #feminism




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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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