September 16, 2015
I’m a firm believer in personal capitol. The more people that like you, i.e. your boss, the less work he or she will probably make you do. That’s just how it works.
Here are some skills you can pick up to earn some easy points in your office.
Everyone likes delicious treats. Therefore, the person that supplies the most delicious treats to the office is bound to be seen favorably. Don’t fake bake in a literal way and buy store bought cookies or pastries and put them on your own plate or tray. People will be able to tell and then you’ll seem like a try-hard. Sure, you’re sucking up by bringing homemade snacks, but that’s way less pathetic than pretending you have a skill outside checking your Instagram and showing up with some store bought shit.
Office environments seem to have the biggest boner for fantasy sports competitions. If it’s fantasy football or a March Madness bracket, if you don’t know what you’re doing it’s actually not that hard to fake it. Have a friend who actually knows about sports to make your picks and secretly help you with the updates or trades or whatever they’re called. If you want to be impressive and really pretend you know what’s going on with your fake team, watch Sports Center like twice a week and then memorize one fact about one of your players and just roll with that when someone asks how your team is doing.
Why not pick up sports old men love? Keep your golf game decent in case they company needs a fourth for a charity scramble. Work for that promotion by having the boss and his wife/boss and her husband play you and your guy in mixed doubles. TBH I don’t really understand racquetball, but I know that old men play it, maybe your boss does too. Who knows. Just don’t suck. There’s nothing worse than claiming you can play a sport only to drag everyone else down with you. Your Lululemon tennis skirt won’t save your embarrassing serve.