July 16, 2014
Snap stories have to be the most annoying thing to hit social media since Farmville and the ‘sponsored’ Instagram post. Stop fucking advertising Instagram, seriously.
The snap story is really just an excuse to post a story so everyone will see how much fun you’re having.. or in an even more 7th grade fashion, an excuse to get a certain, special someone to see your snap without having to send it to them directly. Gag.
The possibilities for annoying snap stories are endless. The limit does not exist. And because I’m OCD, I can’t casually ignore a bright purple box on the side of my screen. I have to get rid of it. So yeah, I’ll watch your story and hate you for it.
In no particular order, here are some of the most annoying stories:
1. Lame House Party Snaps - There is literally nothing I want to see less than 154 seconds of your 10 man sweaty kitchen rager.
2. "Seductive" Snaps With An Irrelevant Caption - If I see you in a low cut tank, sticking your collarbone out with the caption: “Mondays are the worst” I will block you on every outlet available, even if we share blood.
3. Concert Snaps - I’m glad you’re having fun at the Florida Georgia Line show, but nobody cares. Dark erratic snap videos with screaming girls should not happen.
4. “Funny" Everyday Life Snaps - I’m sure it was super lol at the time when you walked by a man sleeping on the subway, but guess what? No one cares. Who's the real creep when you're whipping an iPhone out to take a picture of a stranger? Exactly.
5. Travel Snaps - “Off to the land down under, [Peace Sign] [American Flag]” Millions of people fly each day, why should I care that you’re one of them? Oh right. I don’t.
6. Sunsets - Just fucking don’t.
7. TEAM SNAPCHAT - Excuse me? What are you doing and why are you playing ‘Riptide’ at me? Who said I wanted Rio updates? You’re not Instagram and I did not follow you. I know you created the app and congrats, but if I wanted to hear from you, you’d know it, weird faceless ghost.
Honestly, maybe I’m easily offended, but maybe some people are also super annoying and shouldn't be allowed to have access to WiFi.