April 11, 2013
Aside from giving us another excuse to take selfies of the most beautiful person we know, once we realized that Snapchat wasn't just a sexting app it became the most inappropriate way to communicate. At long last we could put our most fun, amazing, and career-threatening acts into cyberspace without regret! Finally our getting a summer internship no longer hinged on us changing our Facebook names to shady aliases like Rebecca Lauren or Jamie Lovesdick.
We love that Snapchat gives us yet another way to showcase our creativity and talk shit via offensive, postmodern illustrations that disappear in 3-10 seconds. Not only do we get to display the supremely classy moments of our lives via snap, but we can illustrate them like we're Perez drawing cum on Vanessa Hudgens or Van Gogh sketching his not-ear. Why tire your thumbs with texting or perusing 350 emojis in search of the fake emotion you're feeling when you can simply flash a duckface to all your besties at once?
SC is also the only virtual community where the motto is double the chins, double the fun. Every true betch, no matter how many ribs she can count on a fat day, knows the joy of looking snapfat. It's great how even skinniest among us can pretend to be funny fat girls, but funny fat girls can never pretend to be us. Isn't it ironic?
Everyone knows that besides your one annoying bestie who never opens her snaps, the worst part of the snap universe is not knowing if the pic you just received was personal or mass. Was that shot of Jamie taking a bong rip with cocaine (actual, not drawn) leaking from her nose for my eyes only, or do I need to send back a personal vid of me chasing this k-pin with Malbec? Decisions.
Now let's talk about screenshotting. Although it's kind of shady, it's acceptable to do with your besties, but only in especially hilarious circumstances and only if done without the intent to make it public. Snapchat is a lot like fight club in that it's full of secrets, except instead of giving people black eyes, you just give them blackmail pictures of you.
So finally, to the commenters with too much time on your hands (probs because you don't snapchat enough), we're fully aware how long the app has been around and that many betches are already #144 bored of it, however we don't really give a fuck. It goes without saying that the snap ghost is the only pale person a betch would ever take a pic with.