March 5, 2014
In the quest to gain instagram likes and fake celeb status, it's clear that a lot of people have driven themselves insane in the search for a perfect filter. But a little known fact is that they've also driven other people insane, mostly by choosing photo effects that could easily provoke an epileptic fit.
It only took me 35 seconds to figure out what this is a picture of.
No longer is it enough to debate between Hefe and Walden with whomever has the misfortune of being around while you're posting. "Wait just be serious for like a sec, do you like this one....ORRRR....THIS one?!" Nor is it enough to press the little flash button in Camera+ to make your pic look better but not like you downloaded a free PhotoShop trial to achieve this. These days it's all about making your photos look like they are a combination of a Dr. Seuss book and a Pixar movie.
We're not saying that clarity and HDR are always a bad thing. Sometimes they make your pics look great, as long as you don't cross over into grainy and so-tan-it's-orange territory. You can't filter every single picture like that, you just can't. You know how you look back on your parents' sepia snapshots where they were like jumping rope instead of texting, and for that reason it's hard to picture that life was actually normal and in color? Well, your kids are going to look back on these pictures and wonder if the world was permanently tripping. We wish, but no, there was never actually an angelic white light radiating off of every object in the world.
Someone's going to visit the Eiffel Tower and be VERY disappointed.
The excessive use of clarity and HDR do not only make you seem maniacal and possibly borderline via photography, but they clearly reflect an inner turmoil as well. You may think that you're making your pic look artsy and professional, but actually you're just revealing the fact that you think the world looks like a funhouse on LSD, okay Van Gogh? Keep this up and next thing you know you'll be sacrificing an ear for more selfie likes.