January 20, 2015
Read the title and just take a slow clap for this lying betch. This excuse, though fucking psychotic, is also a stroke of genius.
Some betch in England was unfortunately victim to a stage 5 clinger relationship that began online. Not quite sure what website she was on, but since she is British I’m sure it was a dating website dedicated to Harry Potter, tea and crumpets. Right?
Either way, she went on a few shitty dates with this dude and then decided to dump him. But obviously, that didn’t fucking work because if it did, no one would give a shit.
Homeboy stalked her at her house multiple times and when she tried to tell him that she was “sick in the hospital” he fucking followed her to the hospital. And obviously, when that doesn’t work, you are given no other option but to pretend that you are dead.
The best part is that a few months after her tragic passing, British betch signed onto the website again. Because even dead girls need some action. After an extended grieving period, the clinger happened upon her profile again and was a little upset that his personality literally made another human being want to die.
So take notes betches going on shitty Tinder dates - next time you don’t need to call your roommate in the bathroom to come get you and pretend you have a family emergency. Just fucking die. Kind of.