Soul Cycle Is Being Sued By People Who Didn't Even Take A Class

By Queen Elizabetch

SoulCycle, which is basically the closest thing I have to a church, besides Starbucks and my liquor store, is getting sued because fat asses were too busy to go workout. So people were given gift cards for SoulCycle classes, because nothing worth having in this world comes free - especially burning 1000 calories in an hour. Those gift cards can be sold as 1 class, 20 classes, or 50 classes, which roughly translates to New Years Day, the month before spring break, and the day you find out your ex is engaged.

Well, the federal government banned gift cards with expiration dates less than 5 years, because middle aged women should be able to wait 5 years to buy a fugly dress from Talbots. But at SoulCycle, they want people to get off the couch and pay $37 for a new self-esteem immediately, so their gift cards expire after 30 days, 9 months, and 1 year respective to the number of classes. Obvi, this lets SC make a shit ton of extra money - like $25 million extra in 2015 alone.

The lawsuit wants to get people refunds for expired gift certificates, so that they can spend that money on new Lululemon leggings for their next SoulCycle class. 




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