Spaghetti Squash: For The Cold, Fat Times

By Betchy Crocker

Carbs: Never-ending source of nightmares where you wake up in a cold sweat after dreaming you ate a whole bowl of pasta carbonara or a sleeve of crackers. They also lead to the people of the interwebs getting super fucking creative when it comes to still getting their pasta fix without the tons of flour and salt and horror.

While we’ve already enlightened you on the zucchini noodle front (aka ZOODLES), we haven’t discussed spaghetti squash. While you can find a metric shit ton of questionable spaghetti squash recipes on Pinterest, only a few our worth our time. We give you the ultimate spaghetti squash recipe to get you through fat-ass season and in order to have you looking thin and 3 lbs lighter come summer.


  • 1 2-lb spaghetti squash
  • 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • 6-8 fresh sage leaves
  • ¾ cup ricotta cheese
  • 2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
  • ½ cup pine nuts, toasted
  • ½ cup cherry tomatoes, halved lengthwise
  • 1/3 cup kalamata olives, diced
  • Salt and pepper

First off, you can choose to either cook your spaghetti squash in the oven for an hour or in the microwave for like 10 minutes. For a 2 lb squash, you’d preheat your oven to 375F. Stab the squash all over pretending it’s your fucking roommate who stole your top AGAIN, place it in a baking dish, and bake for about 80 minutes. For the microwave option, stab your squash all over (this time pretend it was your boyf after he liked that pic of his ex on Insta WTF) and microwave on high for 10-12 minutes. You need to make sure, for both options, that you have enough stab wounds to allow the heat to vent otherwise your squash will fucking explode which is not as hilarious as it sounds.

Once your squash is cooked, let it cool for 5-10 minutes unless you want second degree burns. Once you are able, cut the squash down the middle and remove all the seeds and “gooey” parts. Then, pull a fork through the flesh to separate and remove the strands from the shell.

Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a small pan and quickly fry the sage leaves until they’re crisp but not burnt. Remove and dry on a paper towel. Once cool, crumble them into a bowl with the ricotta, tomatoes, olives, and garlic. Add the spaghetti squash to the bowl and season with salt and pepper, gently stirring everything to combine. Finally, top it all off with the pine nuts.  This is like 200 calories for a bowl of something similar to pasta.




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