Congratulations, betches. The alcoholic gods have bestowed upon us another low-calorie means to get drunk. And it's GLUTEN FREE. So basically a fruitier, uglier stepsister of vodka soda, but worth a hesitant invitation to our alcoholic clique. It's boozy seltzer.
SpikedSeltzer is natural-ish with only six ingredients, but more importantly, six percent alcohol.
It's like beer, but without the dreaded belly. SpikedSeltzer offers four flavors, and you can take your daddy's credit card to Whole Foods to pick up a 12-pack for $16.99.
OR you can spend that $16.99 on an entire fucking bottle of vodka and stick to vodka soda. Because, honestly, nothing will ever be more cost-effective and drunk-effective than vodka soda. Or, wait, better/worse idea: buy both and make an extra-boozy, extra-dangerous vodka soda. I am a fucking visionary.
We're all about new and skinny ways to get drunk. Just don't forget the alcohol that's been there since the beginning. The drink that's caused way too many nights hugging the toilet, or random hookups with your awkward chem lab partner. Our nomination for president: Vodka Soda 2016.