How To: Know If You're A Stage 5 Clinger

By Dom Betchignon

Today everyone is a lowkey stalker because between Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn you literally have more info about a new guy than the FBI. But sometimes girls take this too far and find themselves being classified as Stage 5's. Here are the five biggest faux pas that may seem innocent but are leading evidence to you becoming a Stage 5 Clinger.

1. You constantly live in fear of double clicking on instagram

You scroll so far back on not only his instagram, but his friends, and exes and your thumb is shaking as you push 12w and then 66w praying to god you don't accidentally double click a picture of him three years ago with his ex.

2. He doesn't know if you have siblings but you know the names of his cousins

You have checked out the Facebook's and instagrams of every girl in his past photos and know which are exes and which are just his cousins or sister. But he literally doesn't even know if you are an only child or a member of the Brady Bunch.

3. Your texts are consistently too long to see without scrolling

If you are always texting novels to a new guy who answers you with one sentence you need to cool it. Even if you aren't texting something emotional or classified clingy and are just texting details about your day I'm sorry but you need to do less.

4. You try to casually run into him by stalking his whereabouts via social media

He doesn't text you one night of the weekend and you want to put on a hot outfit and "casually" run into him by checking his twitter and find nothing. If you give up there you're maybe okay. You're not insane asylum yet. But if you then lurk your way into his friends' twitters and see who or what they've tagged to try to find your way to him like a stalker treasure hunt I'm sorry but YOU are a stage 5.

5. You check who likes his photos

You want to know whether or not he's really over his ex and find yourself constantly checking the likes on his and her photos to see if they double tapped each other. You may think it's innocent but you are leading into seriously Fatal Attraction territory. 

Do less ladies. Do less. Chivalry is only dead because the second a guy is too nice to a girl she already thinks they're married. You crazy girls out there give us normal ones a bad rep so pleaseeee cool it.




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